Meeting Dad – Part I

“Ok… so this is how it feels like to meet Dad…”

Samir had not particularly waited for this day his whole life. In fact, even the previous night, he had had his doubts and was not sure if he should be going to pick his dad up. But then 20 years was a long time and he knew it. So there he was, outside the prison, waiting for his dad to be released. It was still quite cold, under the early morning sun and he took out a cigarette and lit it. And as he inhaled the smoke deeply, he thought about what he was doing there.

Samir was a 2 year old kid when his dad was arrested-at least that was what his mother had told him. For 20 years then, his father was locked up behind bars. And that was pretty much all he knew about his dad. Whenever Samir asked his mother about his father, she would just refuse to talk about him. And if he persisted, she would just beat or shout at him. That was when he was a kid. Standing there beside his car, he realized that his mother’s beatings had actually worked as he could not remember enquiring about his father again-ever. There was no communication, no letters, no phone calls, no birthday cards or visits. His mother had them relocated so she didn’t have to face the ignominy surrounding her husband’s arrest. It was almost like his existence was simply forgotten in the house. But Samir remembered the date-today’s date- that his mother had impulsively and accidentally revealed in a fit of rage and anger when he, as a 13 year old boy, had asked her when it was he would see his dad. He had checked with the police station a few weeks back which confirmed his 9 year old memory.

The prison building was a non-descript concrete structure with a long and high compound wall that ran for a few hundreds of meters. His car was parked just outside the main entrance-the only entrance- which was guarded by 3 sleepy policemen. And when the policemen saw him standing there for a few minutes, they began to give him the eye. Samir ignored their stares and continued to smoke. He soon realized that he had a very basic problem at hand. His father did not expect anyone to pick him up, let alone his 22 year old son whom he hadn’t seen or heard from in about 2 decades. Samir was actually concerned how his father would react to seeing him. He could simply decide not to talk to Samir and there would be nothing that he could do about it. It was a risk he was well aware of, and one which he was ready to take. He looked at the photo of his father that he was able to get from the prison office. It was just a recently taken mugshot. And that was all he had. He looked at his watch and silently muttered, “It’s already past 7:30. Where is he?”

And as if in response to that, Samir heard a noise from the inside of the building- the opening of a metal door. The bolt creaked open loudly and the door slid sideways. Samir fidgeted and stubbed his cigarette out. One person, came out through that door and the door immediately slammed shut. He strained his eyes to see who it was who came out and his eyes rested on the tall, broad figure that stood outside the prison gate, looking straight into the sun. Could it be? Samir quickly took a look at the photo he had and looked in the direction of the person. He was now slowly making his way towards Samir. And as he grew nearer and the face became clearer, Samir realized he no longer needed the photo and threw it into the drain. He was staring at his father for the first time in more than 20 years. And as he came nearer, Samir realized his father didn’t seem to pay much attention to his presence and looked more like he had some plans of his own.

“Hi…” Samir said.

His father stopped right in front of him and looked at him quizzically. Samir didn’t respond to his looks and just stood there. He wanted to see if his father could make the recognition and was secretly wishing he would do so.

His father looked at him, and simply said, “Who are you?”

The faint smile that was taking shape on Samir’s face instantly vanished. That was one question Samir had desperately hoped to avoid answering. He just couldn’t get himself to say who he was. So he just stared back blankly, avoiding his father’s gaze, waiting for him to say something else.

“What do you want?” his father questioned him further.

“I am here to pick you up.” Samir replied.

“What? Pick me up? Who ARE you?”

Samir began to sense the beginning of an irritation in his father’s tone and immediately began to wonder if he had made the right decision in coming there. He still did not know what to say.

“I asked you who you…..”

“I am Samir,” he impulsively blurted it out and then looked away.

His father went silent, his mouth hanging open in mid sentence. Disbelief enveloped his face, followed by a few seconds of confusion, eventually yielding to the reality of the situation. He shook his head and looked around. There was no one else apart from the 3 policemen. Samir feared his father was losing his composure. But before he could say anything, his father opened his mouth to speak.

“Is that your car?” he asked, pointing at the Honda behind Samir.

“Yes.”

“Then let’s get in the car.”

Samir immediately agreed to the suggestion and went around and unlocked the doors. His father helped himself into the passenger seat while Samir turned the ignition on and started the car. He pulled out of the small parking space and headed for the highway. And so, after 20 years, Samir was sitting beside his father, driving on the highway, to nowhere in particular. This was going to be the longest drive of his life.

TO BE CONTINUED…. (SERIOUSLY).

Losing It Twice

“Ok….So this is how it feels to lose my virginity…”

Samir was again thinking out loud. He had just woken up from a deep sleep.  It was still dark outside with only the dim light of the streetlamp outlining the contours of his room. He stared at the ceiling fan and realized that it was very hot and humid – quite unusual for the Bangalore weather. Then something started to slowly bother him. Something wasn’t quite right. He looked around his room. Even in the darkness, he could make out nothing seemed to be out of place or missing. He strained his eyes to discern the time on his watch. It was 5 in the morning. Still it was not the fact that he had woken up at that odd time that bothered him. There was something else. Then he looked beside himself on his bed. Only then did it all come rushing back to him! There was someone else!

“Oh f***!”

He could see the outline of her body through the dim light streaming in from the window. She lay on her side and he could only see her back.

She was still naked. He smiled.

Samir got up but remained sitting on the bed. He then searched for his pack of cigarettes next to the bed and found them. He lit one and inhaled deeply. He could feel the smoke fill his lungs, and as he slowly exhaled, he began to think about the naked girl on his bed. He looked at her again. She was still in deep sleep. Then he smiled again.

It had all started at the party at his friend’s place the previous night. Samir was never of the idea that Arun even liked to party, let alone hold one at his own home. And he was more surprised when he saw the crowd Arun had managed to gather at his house. But not being much of a party animal himself, Samir just sat down with his former classmates and helped himself to a generous dose of vodka. But as the night wore on, Samir found himself conversing with one of Arun’s friends after he found her genuinely interested in his prized coin collection. It seemed she was into minting too. He offered to show her his entire collection but then she would have to come over to his home. Samir found her a little apprehensive but then she agreed after she learnt that his house was only a couple of minutes away.

Still smoking the same cigarette, Samir now wondered how things had turned out at his home. He was already in a mild inebriated state when he left the party. And he could recollect that even she had had something to drink. But after that things got a little hazy and he could only remember making out on his bed. He now wondered if his invitation had different intentions at Arun’s home. But as far as he could retrospect, he hadn’t considered the possibility of losing his virginity over a coin collection. At the same time, considering the fact that he wasn’t completely in his senses (and he smiled at this thought), he was ready to give it the benefit of doubt. He stubbed out the cigarette and lit one more.

She turned over in her sleep and was now lying facing him. For the first time, he took a good look at her. He observed her face and her body figure. She was looking very beautiful in the dark. Perhaps all girls do. But there was something about her that gave him an air of satisfaction. She was definitely pretty. She had a good figure – her Cup size must have been 34C at least. (He could never imagine losing his virginity to a girl without at least a 32C.) He also really liked the fact that she was into coin collecting as well. And at 22, he couldn’t help but look at what had happened as an achievement.  It was then that he realized that she was everything that he had hoped for on such an occasion. Well, almost everything. For one, Samir still didn’t know her name. And second, his girlfriend was blissfully sleeping at her home not too far away from his place!

He exhaled deeply. For some reason, the smoke seemed to be suspended around him. He coughed and regretted doing that almost immediately as it seemed to wake her up. Samir decided that he might as well wake her up and switched on the bed lamp. She instinctively put her hand up to block it.

“What time is it?” she asked in a sleepy voice.

“Its 530 in the morning”, Samir replied in his deep gruff voice.

And just that seemed to suddenly bring her back to reality as she literally jumped up from her sleep, covering herself with the rug.

“Oh my God! Where am I?”

“You are at my house.”

That reply seemed to calm her down as she looked around the room and then at Samir. Then she asked him, “Who are you??!??”

Well there was a question worth answering! Suddenly Samir found he had a problem of choice. He had to choose among “I am the guy who lost his virginity to you”, “I am the coin collecting guy whom you decided to sleep with”, “I am the guy who you find staring at your naked body when you wake up” but then he said, “We met last night at Arun’s party.” It was then that she remembered where she was and more importantly why she was where she was. Then she looked at Samir and asked, “Did we….?”

It was almost funny, she asking it. It was as if she expected things to change just by checking about them. Samir couldn’t suppress another smile. “Yes we did.”

“Oh God! What have I done?”

At that time, Samir didn’t know what to expect of her reaction. But he had a feeling this wasn’t going in the right direction either.

“I can’t believe I am not a virgin anymore!!” she screamed!

Samir choked on his cigarette and coughed violently for some time.

“What??!!??”

“I’ve just lost my virginity!”

Now Samir was not sure how to react himself. All this time, he had looked at the whole incident as a defining moment only in his life. The thought of it meaning something to her as well had not even crossed his mind. In fact, his only thoughts about her revolved around his own expectations and his evaluation of her appropriateness at being the girl to whom he lost his virginity. So when he learnt that the experience meant something to her too, perhaps a lot more than what it meant to him, he suddenly realized his mistake and felt obligated to say something appropriate. But then what was one expected to say to a naked girl who has just realized that you took away her virginity?

“What’s your name?” Samir asked.

“What?” she said and then realized that even she wasn’t aware who she had slept with.

He waved his palm in front of her eyes. “What’s your name?”

“Radhika”

Well at least now he knew her name. He now took in another deep puff.

“So Radhika…”, he exhaled the smoke, “I am Samir!”

She just looked at him in bewilderment, not knowing if she was supposed to respond with  a “Hi!” or “Nice meeting you..” or “How do you do?”. And at the same time, Samir realized that if there was something sensible that was going to be said in the next few moments, it would inevitably have to come from his own mouth. And so he began to think of the most inconspicuous manner in which he could introduce the situation at hand to her.

“Please don’t tell this to anyone!” Radhika cried.

Samir had to break his train of thought to accommodate her latest emotional reaction. He thought about it for some time, and the more he thought about it, he realized that he was wrong. Without her own knowledge, she had spoken something sensible. He realized he could never let anyone know about this incident, let alone Ritu, his girlfriend. Well, last he checked, she was still his girlfriend.

“Yes. Let’s keep it that way.”

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes. Neither of them knowing what to say or do. Samir had lit another cigarette and was still enjoying the moment, allowing it to sink in. Radhika on the other hand was still trying to come to terms with the reality that she was no more a virgin. When Samir looked at her, he felt there was something else that was bothering her as well. Daylight was creeping into the sky, some of it even making their way into the room.

Samir knew that he was never going to apologize for what had happened. In spite of his inebriated state, he knew for sure that he had at no point of time, forced her in anyway. Maybe both of them were drunk, but he was certain that there was mutual consent.  So he sincerely hoped that Radhika wouldn’t hold him responsible for anything. It wouldn’t be fair. But at that moment, what bothered him more was about not being aware of what she expected of him henceforth. Was she expecting him to start a relationship with her?  Or was she comfortable with the idea of a One-Night-Stand? He knew where his own priorities lay and as long as she didn’t find the sudden urge to talk about her first experience, he knew he was safe. But first, he wanted to hear her side of the story. And before he could embark on that, Radhika began her own queries.

“So what now?” she asked.

It was not as much as the question as it was in the way she asked it that gave Samir the impression that she was regaining her composure. He thought for some time before he answered.

“First of all, I suggest we both get dressed. Then we can talk.”

Radhika nodded in approval and they both got up from the bed. Samir stood up and put on his clothes while Radhika got up with the rug around her and tried to get dressed without letting the rug go. Samir saw her struggling, shook his head and let out a small laugh.

“What??” Radhika asked.

“You know there is no point struggling like that.” Samir replied, still unable to suppress his smile. “I’ve already seen you naked!” And as soon as he said that, Samir noticed her trying to hide a smile. At that moment, he remembered reading somewhere on how women tend to trust the man after having sex with him. And as if in quick response to his thought, Radhika took off the rug and put it on the bed. Samir just stood there, staring at her naked body, fully aware that this may very well be the last time he will be seeing it.

“What you looking at?” she asked.

“You want me to describe it for you?”

This time, Radhika made no attempt to hide her smile as she started to get dressed. Samir thought he saw her blush and was happy that the tension was easing between them.

“Well now its going to be hard to describe though”, he said, pointing at her lingerie.

They both quickly got dressed and Samir served some coffee he had made while she freshened up. The previous night’s party outfit that she wore now looked largely out of place.

“We were drunk,” Samir said.

“What?”

“Last night, at Arun’s place. We both were drunk when we left his house. I hope you remember that.”

“Yes I do. And I also remember you telling me something about your coin collection.”

“Oh yes. And you did come to my home to see that.”

“But somehow I don’t remember seeing any coin collections,” Radhika said with a smile.

Samir relaxed after seeing Radhika talk more confidently now. He would have loved to continue the conversation with her the way she wanted to but he hated beating around the issue at hand. So he decided to get right to the point.

“So what now?” he asked.

He saw Radhika was playing with the coffee mug, dreaming about something.

“Are you alright?”

“I think I need to tell you a few things,” Radhika started. “Firstly, I am 25 years old and from what I make out, I am older than you. But what I need to really tell you is that I am engaged to a guy whom I will be marrying in a few weeks time. Arun is my colleague at work and I came to his party at his invitation. This was going to be my last party before my marriage and hence the last party where I still had more freedom and lesser accountability for my actions. But let me get this straight. I did not come to the party looking to lose my virginity. Today really was my first time and let me tell you this frankly: I enjoyed it.  I do realize both of us were drunk and so I hold myself equally responsible for what happened.”

Samir heaved a sigh of relief.

“But at the same time,” Radhika continued, “I cannot say that I do not have any regrets about this. If I were to choose now, I would definitely wish that this night hadn’t happened. But it has and nothing I do or say is going to change that.”

“So then what do you suggest we do?” Samir interrupted.

“My immediate concern is confidentiality. I just cannot afford this matter to be revealed to anybody at any point of time. I hope you understand that.”

“You can take my word on that as I have some issues myself that will get complicated if this thing gets out. So you don’t have to worry that from my end,” he replied.

Radhika was visibly relieved to hear that and continued, “There is one other thing.”

“What is it?”

“I do not wish to see you or hear from you ever again. My marriage is the most wonderful occasion of my life and I cannot afford to let one night of bad judgment ruin my entire life. I do not want to complicate matters between us when none exists in the first place.”

Samir just stared at her, unable to fathom the manner in which she happened to look at the events of the previous night. He only wished there were many more girls like her living in India.

“Don’t worry. Once you step out of the door, you will never hear from me ever again.”

“So we understand each other then…?”

“Yes we do.”

“Ok then,” Radhika got ready to leave, “I will leave.” Then she hesitantly added, “Nice meeting you.”

“Same here,” Samir replied.

Radhika walked towards the door and put on her shoes.

“Bye,” she said.

Transfixed, Samir just watched as she opened the door and stepped out.

“Wait!” he shouted. Radhika stopped and turned. Samir hesitated for a brief moment. “If its any consolation to you,” he said slowly, “I want you to know that it was my first experience too and I really enjoyed it as well.”

He kissed her on her cheek and watched her go down the road under the early morning sun with a smile on her face. He stood there for some time and realized that he was getting late for a meeting and went inside.

*******************************************************************************

“Ok..so this is how it feels like to lose my virginity!”

Samir just jumped out of his bed after hearing those words! It wasn’t he who said them. He looked beside himself and saw Ritu staring at him! Confused, he looked around in the dark and saw that he was in Ritu’s room. Still not able to make sense of the situation, he looked at her questioningly. Ritu smiled and said, “We got drunk…and then we…..” It was then that the drunken ordeals of the previous night came back to him. And then he realized what had happened. He had slept with two different girls on two consecutive nights after getting drunk! He cleared his head and looked at Ritu. She was still smiling with an air of satisfaction. “I have been wanting to do this since such a long time,” she declared. “And I am so happy that I lost my virginity to you!”

Samir thought about Radhika, and all that had taken place with her. He looked at Ritu and said, “And I am equally happy that I lost mine to you dear..”

And then he smiled.